Endings bring beginnings
It is time to change course. Back to land we go. There really is no denying how fortunate and privileged we are to travel the world on our sailboat, and for that I am grateful. We see amazing countries, meet wonderful people, and enjoy beautiful sunsets. By all accounts, we live a glamorous life. Why would we decide to move back to land? Yes, yes, I can hear the collective cries of "WHAT?!?! You are living the dream!" And while that may be true, for some, I am having to admit that this is not my dream. Is it Dave's dream, yes! It is 100% his dream. He loves every minute of it, but I definitely do not. Let me be clear, there are aspects of this life I LOVE! However, there are definitely many things that I detest. If you talk to people who have been doing this awhile, you will hear lots of people say that it is a difficult life. I will speak from my perspective.
Living on the boat and living a nomadic lifestyle is really hard on my mental health, to cut to the chase. There are many ways in which that is true. Let's begin with the fact that I get seasick. No, I don't get so sick that I vomit, most of the time, but I do often feel nauseated and incredibly lethargic. While I suffer with seasickness mostly while underway, it isn't uncommon for me to feel seasick while we are anchored when the anchorage gets "rolly". Before you ask, yes, I have tried that. I don't know what you were going to suggest, but I have tried virtually everything. Now, imagine that every time a storm came within 500 miles of your house that you would start feeling sick to your stomach. In fact, as I am typing this the boat is rocking back and forth and I have to keep looking out to the horizon so that I don't start feeling unwell. If this were for a weekend, a week, or a month, I would be able to suck it up and deal with it, but this is my life 24/7/365. Yes, I could take medication, but I really dislike the idea of taking something so frequently. I do take medications to reduce seasickness while we are on passage, but even that isn't 100% effective. Regardless, feeling physically ill for a significant amount of time takes a toll on my mental health, and it is time for me to do something different.
Honestly, if it were only seasickness, I would probably be able to deal with living full time on the boat. The reality is that I find numerous other aspects of boat life challenging. I find it difficult to maintain a schedule. One thing that I have always enjoyed is physical exercise. I do manage to get exercise quite frequently, but I fined it difficult to maintain any kind of a routine because we are constantly moving and that means our schedule is continually changing. Also, this life is full of logistical challenges. Every new bay that we enter we have to figure out where we can dock our dinghy, where can we catch a cab, or where can we rent a car. And that is just so that we can go to the grocery store. We have to figure out where we can take our trash, and will our dinghy be safe where we leave it. There is also the very real concern that our boat won't be where we left it if we go to shore for a few hours. Just the other week, a boat broke free of its mooring and was drifting out to sea until fellow cruisers jumped about and secured it. No one was on the boat at the time that it broke free. Yes, natural disasters happen on land, bad things happen on land, but I have never felt the need for the constant vigilance that I live with on the boat.
For those of you who truly know me, you may know that I tend to be an anxious person. I have worked really hard for most of my life to combat that anxiety and to live a life that I find peaceful. Unfortunately, living on a boat doesn't really allow me to do that. The worst part is that our relationship (Dave and mine) has taken the brunt of the damage. I told a friend not too long ago, that boat life doesn't bring out the best in me. That is true. I am fortunate to have a partner like Dave who has loved me throughout, even though I haven't always made it easy for him. When we were talking about selling the boat I said, "But I don't know what else we would do." He responded with, "Anything, LITERALLY anything!" And he meant it. We are pivoting back to land life, and we are deep in the weeds on planning another great adventure. We are both excited about what will come next. Stay tuned!!